Strong Women, Submissive Women

Published: 05th January 2006
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Do you know a sexy, strong woman at your place of work? Perhaps she's a manager or business owner. Maybe she's a salesperson that works with your company or she represents a vendor. Do you want to know a little secret about her? She's very likely demure and submissive in the bedroom!

What's that? How can that be? She's a real ball-buster during the day!

Sure, that's her persona during the day, but studies show that the vast majority of women shift roles when it comes to their emotional/sexual lives; with a distinct direction: from dominance to submission. This seems like a strange dichotomy, but stick with me here.

While many women are terrified of others knowing this fact, most women prefer a submissive bedroom role. I'm not going to go into all the science behind this, but it's an important thing to understand if you're actually attracted to one of these "strong-by-day, submissive-by-night" types of women.

Let's say that you want to approach one of these girls. How do you do it? First, if you're already the CEO or VP of your company, you have a much stronger chance of being accepted than if not. It's unfortunate, but the stronger a woman is (and the higher her position within a company) the more men she'll cut out of her "potential date" list. That doesn't mean you have no chance however.

The approach here is one of strength and confidence – much more so than other women. The reason is that these women want to be with men they perceive as even stronger than they are. This is a critical element in the approach because it has to be just as strong and confident. If you waiver here, you're not going to get a second chance.

Your approach isn't one of "Hey, want to go have drinks after dinner?" Instead, you want to say something like, "I don't know what your plans are for Friday, but cancel them. I'm taking you out for drinks. I'll pick you up at 8 sharp." This is a very powerful position to take, but trust me; it's the correct one for this girl.

You have to be able to carry this confidence into dating too. When you date a strong woman be ready to show even more strength and have more direction than her! This is a tall order for many men, but having clear, concise goals and an understanding of these rules helps to make it easier. Be goal-oriented and know what you want with her. If you don't, she's liable to walk all over you and impose her goals right up to showing you the door.

One other thing you'll find with these strong women is that you'll get Tested ( more often and with greater intensity. This challenge is simply to prove that you're still the powerful guy you appeared to be during the initial approach. It may last well into the relationship by the way! If you falter on these Tests, you might just lose her completely.

So, after all this work, what's the benefit to you? Simple – a devoted, loyal, willing and happy girlfriend! Someone that will easily take your lead anywhere you want to go be it in the relationship or in the bedroom. These women are very special and any man that can win her is in for a real treat. She tends to be sexually adventurous, creative and enthusiastic – more so than most women. She'll continue to give you reasons to trust her because she is paying you back for being the man of her dreams. She'll even become the woman you've dreamed of all your life simply because she wants to make you happy.

You just have to make it past all the initial suspicion and challenge you'll get; but trust me, it's worth it.

Why do these strong women want to be submissive in the bedroom and the relationship? There are many subtle answers but most of it comes right down to natural wiring. Feeling safe and secure in a relationship is a critical element for all women. If you think about this, isn't just about every aspect of men's relationships with women involved with proving this security? You bet it is!

Now, obviously this doesn't apply to every strong woman – especially if her strength is born out of fear of weakness; but it's true of most. You can safely approach strong women with the belief that they're looking for an even stronger man so that they can melt into the comfort of the willing, submissive role – until proven otherwise.

Best regards…
Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to me by going to: for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's World™" (volumes I & II), and other products visit: Check out the discussion group at:

Copyright (c) 2006, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.

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Mike on September 13, 2011 said:
I would not have imagined that these stong women would like to take the lead of men. This is very helpful to learn and will also encourage me to go for women that I would not normally be brave enough to date.

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